Safari Dave has Nothing on Curious George

(For getting stuck in places.)

Orpheus looks backward. *Spoiler Alert*

Adam and Eve eat the apple. *Spoiler Alert*

Odysseus comes home. *Spoiler Alert*

Hamlet/Othello/Macbeth/King Lear/etc die at the end. *Spoiler Alert*

Ahab dies at the end. *Spoiler Alert*

Anna Karenina dies at the end. *Spoiler Alert*

Jane Eyre marries that rich dude. *Spoiler Alert*

Frodo destroys the One Ring. *Spoiler Alert*

Darth Vader is Luke’s dad. For reals. *Spoiler Alert*

Beowulf kills Grendel and his ma. *Spoiler Alert*

Spoilers don’t exist.

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