Now that my life has changed utterly (the transition from cubitant to gradstudent being completed), I find that my online habits have been changing as well. Mostly, I’ve been struggling with what to do with this thing, this space which is increasingly devoid of content. I often *mean* to write something here, but I find that I don’t really think of it. It doesn’t occur to me like it used to, when I was poking away at spreadsheets and databases in the cube farm.
My initial thought is to incorporate this, somehow, into my school-life. I’ve had thoughts of turning this, here, left-side into a dumping ground for school notes and thoughts related to studies, while turning that increasingly defunct right-side over there into an amalgamation of what the left/right dichotomy used to (doesn’t it still) mean to me.
I’ve thought about collapsing the two into one single entity. Just letting it all stir together in a grand stewpot, letting the chips or whatall just fall wherever. I’ve also thought about finding some kind of new vigor and, while continuing the old classic left/right style, adding a new school-related thing. I sort of balk at this last option–managing three weblogs seems to fall just a hair away (if not over!) the line of complete and utter sheer madness.
The sadness, for me, is that I’ve been having a lot of really great thoughts and thinks about things that I feel are sort of falling by the wayside. (Another possibility: Am I feeling paralyzed by the insanity and madness that seem to me to be roiling just beneath the thin skin of our “civilization”, just waiting to burst onto the scene in a fury of violence and savagery? I am afraid of what is to come, even as my life blossoms with all kind of possibility. And perhaps ashamed of my inability to take action or speak in the face of where the world seems to be heading. So I just kind of peer out at the world through my little hazy glass porthole, hoping that maybe I’m wrong, and things really aren’t as bad (though I think ‘fucked’ would be more appropriate) as they seem.) So, basically what I’m saying is that I intend to keep writing in this space in *some* format; though there may be something of a reconstruction or a remodeling in the near future.
Also, I kind of even doubt if anyone is even poking around here anymore (not that that was ever really the reason for writing here, though a nice side-effect), so I should just do whatever strikes me as useful and good and maybe something groovy will come out of it.