The Other Side of the Story

(Or was it?)

For a long time everyone assumed there was just one side to the story. Then the famed historian Heinrich Edsel Von Kroumhauyber proposed his, some might say infamous, doppelseitig or double-sided theory of stories.

Heinrich E. V. K. was showered with fame, fortune, adulation, etc., as only historians can be. He especially loved his appearance in Layrina Horsetaol’s 37th footnote*. The ecstasy!

Von Kroumhauyber died penniless in ruin a mere 17th months after the unveiling of his Theory.

After a hiatus of 74 years, Chuck Torp, a vague and mostly unnoticed autodidact and insurance salesman, scribbled out a counter-theory: the Polygonal Narratives Proposal.


By which I mean Chuck Torp had an infestation in his larder, in his garage, in his bedclothes. To his dismay, he discovered that his insurance didn’t cover crickets. Either literal or figurative. Also, no one was talking about his Proposal.

Chuck Torp took to hanging around outside weddings and accosting young, easily impressionable guests in order to bludgeon his ideas into their brains. He would figuratively just smash those ideas right up inside their skulls.

Fast-forward three weeks and Chuck Torp is leading a vast cult of failed historians, actuaries, and beekeepers. What fun!

Anyway, that went on for a while. Chuck Torp, now The Exalted Gruncle, sighed and remembered crickets.

*Until the 42nd footnote, that is: “…Von Kroumhauyber and his asinine breakfast habits are the folly of the age. One finds it impossible to parse any of his proclamations with bacon and orange marmalade crusted in his beard…” And so on for another three pages.

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