Monthly Archives: December 2019

Payroll Corp’s Big Day

Payroll Corp (just Corp to his friends) was really excited. Today was the big day! He was starting a new job doing something for a giant company that he barely knew anything about. That morning, he set his alarm to go off extra early. Soon he was asleep, dreaming of runcible spoons. Upon waking, a somber gentleman in a grey suit handed him a checklist. “For your first day,” he said cryptically and, between Corp’s slow, sleep-encrusted blinks, disappeared. Payroll Corp heard his front door slam. Six days later, he was still sitting in bed working his way through the checklist. He wasn’t feeling quite as stoked about his new job. “I wonder what my friend, Null Tables, would have to say about this?”

Moral: There’s a lot to do and it has to be done now (or within 30 days)!

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Documents on Parade

Once there was a parade of documents. It was not well attended. At first. But then everyone was required to attend. Also, there were hats. These were also required. Someone sneezed in the back and the parade had to start over from the beginning. Lunch was pickles and jello, because there were at least three documents that forbade everything else. Crying children were, at first, banned from the parade, and then also required. Soon everyone wasn’t sure if the documents were coming or going. Had they stopped? Were they moving? What was the story with the goldleaf embossing on documents 17-b through 37-12-a? No one knew. Another parade was scheduled for the following day. All were required to attend. Except girls named Stu and owners of goldfish. No one knew why, of course.

Moral: You must attend the document parade.

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Github for History

  • Henry VIII submits a pull request for an annulment of his marriage to Catherine of Aragon. The Pope rejected the pull request. Henry VIII forked the Catholic Church as Church of England.
  • Martin Luther submits a pull request with 99 changes. The Pope rejects the pull request. Martin Luther creates a new project from scratch in a different programming language. It gets forked lots of times, in spite of Martin Luther’s best efforts.
  • The Continental Congress forks the Articles of Confederation into the US Constitution. James Madison submits a pull request for 10 major changes. It takes a while for everyone to review them.
  • After about a decade on the prohibition-era branch, the United States reverts to master.
  • And so on and so on.

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