They seemed so cute at first. They were always pointing the direction you wanted them to point. They really seemed to tie the room together. The wizard Zombardo had just finished banishing this helpful, letter-writing demon and was all set to write up some sweet magical spells. So he did. They were gonna be so sweet! He was especially looking forward to Minacora’s Effluveant Effervescence, boy that was gonna be fun! Well, anyway, he wrote some spells. But none of them worked. Upon closer inspection, to his horror, all his straight quotes had been replaced with curly ones. Also, weirdly, some words were underlined in red. The puissant wizard flung wide his shutters only to gaze upon true terror. Not his, everyone else’s. A baby cried somewhere. Cows and llamas rampaged. The shoemakers were all up in arms. Basically, just general unrest and mayhem. It was a bad scene. The wizard sobbed.
Moral: Turn off your curly quotes.