The Cat What Ate the Sun

(It was a big cat, ok?)

You’d be right to be terrified of the massive Intergalactic Space Cat lurking out somewhere past the Triangulum Emission Garren Nebula*. It could pounce at any moment. Not on you, silly. On our sun. What do you think Intergalactic Space Cats eat/play with? It’s a vast space out there with only a few*** stars to play with/eat. Imagine: you’re an immense Intergalactic Space Cat. Planets, not to mention moons, even the biggest gas giants are really beneath your notice. You’re hungry and you’re cold and you’ve just traveled countless light years to the next star. You’d sure hope it’s not a tired, small brown dwarf star at the end of its career. You want a bright, shining, and hot star, burning in the fullness of its prime. Man, that nigh eternal nuclear explosion is gonna be looking pretty good at that point. When the Intergalactic Space Cat pounces on  your local star, try not to feel too put out. It’s just its nature.

 

* OK, I know you’re thinking, what? Not the Cat’s Eye Nebula? Seriously? And I’m here to tell you that even Intergalactic Space Cats think that some things can be a little too on the nose**. Don’t put Intergalactic Space Cat in a box, is all I’m saying.

** Yes, Intergalactic Space Cats have noses. And yes, they are quite cold.

*** Relatively speaking.

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