(Or was it the moon?)
Circling back to the Fount of Chocolate, James K. Polk (our 11th president) whistled loudly and an immense roc crunched to the ground behind him. There was, like, this astoundingly patriotic moment where James K. Polk perched astride the roc’s back. That is, until he slipped and toppled off the roc’s back into the chocolate fountain.
“Yum!” James K. Polk murmured.
Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt (our 26th president) rolled his eyes and Martin Van Buren (#8) snickered. “Jimmy!” William Howard Taft (#27) bellowed. “Get outta that pool, you goddamn fool!” William Howard Taft and Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt high-fived.
Warren G. Harding (#29) snuck onto the roc’s back and flew away with it while all the others were distracted.
“Harding’s the worst!” said William Henry Harrison (#9, barely) quietly.
“Oh shut up, William, what are you even doing here? I mean, really?” said John “And Tippecanoe” Tyler (#10, but basically #9). William Henry Harrison slunk away. Or he would have, except he had nowhere to go.
All those presidents had nowhere to go, being stuck on the back of that turtle. Still, it was a pretty big turtle, so it wasn’t all bad.